Husband, We Need to Talk About Your Love of The History Channel's 'Forged in Fire'
/Darling, the host has a man bun.
Read MoreI Will Always Be My Dog's Best Friend — Even If It Inconveniences My Relationship
/There's no question. I'll be his friend until he's gone. And then, after, I'll have time to make a home with the human whom I also love.
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10 Mostly Gross Things I Never, Ever Thought I'd Do When I Was Childfree
/2. Wipe puke out of my cleavage and keep on keeping on.
Read MoreThe Bad-At Coloring Book for Badass Divorcées: Attending a Wedding
/In this week's installment of Badass Divorcées: How to attend a wedding without losing your shit.
Read MoreMy Kid Is Driving & If You Tell Me to 'Relax and Enjoy It,' I Will Punch You
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I must confess that I haven't ridden with her THAT much, because my car does not come equipped with a passenger side steering wheel or brake. Or Xanax.
Read MoreRewind: 1983 — The Subtle Shift From 'Good Girl' to 'Bad Girl'
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Maybe that was the last time a boy looked at me as just a kid. Not as a kid with boobs. Not as a girl. Just as a kid.
Read MoreDear Husband, I'm Sorry I Fell Asleep During 'Captain America'
/I meant to ask you, was there a plot?
Read MoreHow to Annoy Your Spouse or Partner (Without Really Trying)
/One thing they don't tell you when you are taking your marriage vows or shacking up together or deciding to hang out for a few years while sharing a Netflix password is that the person with whom you decided to undertake this with will one day annoy the hell out of you.
Read MoreI'm Going to Lock My Pre-Teen Daughter in the Cellar & Throw Away the Key
/
And we did this for 12 years. Until you gave me that look over sloppy joes and tater tots and it was just one look, that withering, dismissive, eye-rolling look, and it was over. Poof.
Read MoreThe Bad-At Coloring Book for Badass Divorcées: Yard Work Edition
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In this week's installment of Badass Divorcées: The ladies tackle yard work... maybe.
Read MoreWhen the Daughter Becomes the Mother to an Ailing Parent
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Now, I was in an untenable situation. Either I give my mother the candy that I knew would send her blood sugar sky high, or tell her no.
Read MoreDeciding When to Be a Parent or a Friend With My College-Age Daughters
/The gap between my generation and our young adult children is narrower, and sometimes, in that camaraderie, I lose my way when to parent, when to friend, and when to roommate.
Read MoreThe Realities of Living Apart Together
/When I asked my husband what he'd be comfortable with me writing about our sex life in this piece he suggested I debunk the idea that men in their 50s are still horny as "total bollocks."
Read MoreRewind: 1983 — On the Edge of Adolescence
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We coordinated coats of pre-teen angst over layers of childhood.
Read MoreStylish Old Lady Shoes Are REAL. Get Some!
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For whom does the bell of sensible style toll? It tolls for me, I suppose.
Read MoreThe Bad-At Coloring Book for Badass Divorcées: Cooking Edition
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In this week's installment of Badass Divorcées: The ladies try to cook, and it's not going so well.
Read MoreIt Takes a Village to Raise a Child & I Have a Very Tiny Village
/This is part of what happens when you have babies in middle age... Your parents and in-laws are aging, or you’ve had enough therapy to realize the full extent of your family's toxicity and run screaming from that dumpster fire.
Read MoreWhen I Had to Get Just One Kid Ready for School, I Was a Lot Saner
/When I just had one kid, it was unicorns and butterflies. Now that I have four, it's like completing a marathon with your shoelaces tied together.
Read MoreNow That I'm Older I Can Finally Be Young
/And that's how you pull off a low-stakes, no cops involved, homeless shelter-free teen rebellion.
Read MoreI'm Actually Not Allowed to Curse Anymore and I F-ing Hate It
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So I have to quit f-ing cursing...
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